Life Changing Lesson

Wednesday, February 15, 2017 · Mike Davis

Good morning,

I hope all my New Hampshire friends are surviving the onslaught of snow. Reminds me of being in NH about this same time in 2015. Stay positive for pitchers and catchers have reported to spring training!

I have been doing this coffee and chat thing for a few years now, and along the way I have chatted a few times about trying to be disciplined with my running and strength training. My goal has always been to run 4 days a week and strength train 3 days. This discipline or habit was more consistent from 2010 through 2014 and has been less so, since moving from 23 Taylor Road. My typical routine was to run in the early morning and strength train that same time on non-run days. There were times, I would run in the evening with a group but, I was fairly consistent with my morning routine. I even took great pride in that discipline which fed my sense of accomplishment. Overall, I was pleased with this routine. As the late great Paul Harvey, would say; “Now for the rest of the story.”

Recently, while studying for an Exercise Science exam, my better half shared something powerful, which hit me right between the eyes! Without getting into the specifics her words, I will paraphrase with this; “Between my running, strength training, Coffee and Chat, I missed out on the important stuff.” Wow, suddenly my view of my disciplined lifestyle was being described as something negative! One specific statement she made, I will share: “You weren’t a professional athlete, that needed to put training ahead of other things.” Man, she was being brutally honest! I did not challenge her comments, but instead just took the blows.

Kathy is my wife and best friend, and no doubt that telling me this, was not easy for her to do. Though this honesty may have bruised my ego, just a few hours later, I grasped what she meant.

Kathy loves to run and enjoys strength training so much that she got certified as an ACE Personal Trainer. In fact, she is NFLR’s only certified running coach and personal trainer. So, her comments might seem a little crazy but, I don’t think so. Her love for both running and strength training are qualities I love about her, but what I love more is the way she cares about people first and foremost. Kathy can find good in everyone and she takes the time to help people without judgement. While Kathy may not have been as routine as me with her workouts, she most definitely cares about her physical conditioning and despite dealing with allergies and allergy induced asthma, she overcomes a lot to keep running. No doubt she is constantly trying to find balance in her schedule, but working out doesn’t consume her.

As I contemplated my structured workout schedule, it is easy to understand how someone close to me could see what I gave up to stay on my routine. Some might think it was admirable of me to stick to my regimen and put other things aside and in some instances that would be correct. In that period of time, I trained for 2 marathons only and neither one was intended to be an attempt at qualifying for Boston. So, my structured training was purely for my own gain and nothing else. Was that a good thing?

Do not for a second think that I am not pleased with my physical conditioning. I am proud of my visits to my doctor annually and that certainly was not where I was headed some 12 years ago. Between changing some diet habits and committing myself to running, I shed over 40 pounds and thanks to our marriage lifestyle, I have been able to keep most of the lost weight off. The problem for me became my structured approach overtook my senses and I didn’t realize how it affected opportunities that were not only important to me, but others. Looking at Kathy, I see an example of a fit (probably not as much as she might want to be) woman, without the selfish structured existence. Yes, I said “selfish”because, as I replay those years, I understand that my discipline (structured), was void of others and their needs. Ultimately, my selfishness affected quality time with my loved ones and friends in need.

I am a running coach, it’s who I am, and I coach structure and discipline to runners. Both factors are very important in a successful training program. However, I have always stressed (and will continue to do so) that one must maintain a healthy balance between running/training, family, faith, friends and other life aspects, not necessarily in that order. That healthy balance ideal will never change because that is what makes NFLR different than other coaching services. The problem was that I did not maintain that balance for myself. I spent many hours focused on conditioning like I was an Olympic hopeful and disregarded the home team that needed a designated hitter. As difficult as it was to hear, my wife was right and I am glad she had the courage to say it, despite it bursting my bubble. I will remain disciplined in my workouts, but not at the expense of life passing me by.

I hope you can use my confession here as a way to evaluate your own training regimen. Life is about balance and not losing sight of those we love for the sake of getting in a run. I, most certainly will not let that happen again!

Have a great week!

God Bless!

Mike